Drowning in the kitchen sink.

I might be a bit emotional today.
Maybe it has something to do with Harrison and I waking up at 4:30 this morning

to drive Mom to the train station.

We went to play 8 hands of Uno.

We went to say goodbye.

She's almost home in KC tonight... home to finish packing up their lives.

They leave for Italy in 14 days.

Dad has been busy this week while Mom has been with us. He's been scheduling plane tickets and receiving passports and coordinating faxes with vice-consulate embassy type people. He's made sure their little Maltese can go with them and tried to find out what they need to store and what they need to bring all the way to Italy... apparently the movers are coming to pack up their container on Monday.

and in 15 days they will be living in Italy.

In just two short weeks.

Mom has been non-stop on her language acquisition CDs... and she has caught on rather quickly. I'm terribly impressed. The key, she says, is relating the Italian word to something familiar in English. Here... you try it...

The Italian for SMALL is PICCOLO Imagine a SMALL boy playing a PICCOLO.

See... my mom is pretty smart.

We've spent the last two weeks together. Living life, feeding ducks, eating junk food, snuggling on the couch, going to a concert, sharing stories and moments and meals and trying to press them all into our memories so we can hang on to them for the months to come.

We've had these great conversations... about life and raising kids and growing older and being a woman of strength and character and the priest, the minster and the rabbi who try and win the soul of an animal in the woods... and as the conversations flow and circle and come back around again, my mom lovingly bequeaths to me what could be her last words of motherly wisdom before she moves to Italy...

"L'orso vuoto e' cavito"

The empty bear is bad.

She's got a bunch of them tucked in her memory ... the quiet rat is quick... the small frog is hot... the blue hedgehog is tired.

I'm worried about her in Italy a little bit. Unless she gets a job at the zoo.

Yes, I'm feeling a bit emotional today- about my parents leaving in two weeks... and about there only being those two weeks left before what is left of the summer is gone. Not just saying goodbye to Mom and Dad, but also to Harrison and Avery for 8 hours every day. Two weeks until we are waking up again at 6oclock each morning and they are eating nothing but pb&j sandwiches and they are sharing their best ideas with teachers and classmates. Two weeks until we can't wake up on a beautiful morning and go to the beach - or walk to the ice cream shop for dinner- and we have to go to bed at 8:00 even if the birds are still singing outside.

And also, in those same two weeks, Madyline and I have to somehow emerge into our official new roles of organized, disciplined and efficient young women.

And somehow, when I should be creating space in these enormous two weeks as we all transition... somehow I am not. I have felt invinsible this summer... and in that I have not left myself near enough margin in these last two weeks. I've filled it to overflowing.

Not enough time to sip smoothies at the coffee shop with friends.

Not enough time to read that book that Harrison checked out at the library.

Not enough time to put DVDs together of every moment we've shared with Mom and Dad.

Not enough time to let them know how much I love them.

Not enough time to make indelible memories that will carry us all through this school year.

Not enough time to snuggle and bake and play.

I am feeling a bit emotional

-a bit overwhelmed

-a bit dramatic.

Billy and I were IMing today... he, reminding me of one more thing on my "to do" list today and I broke down.

b: you forgot? you have something else planned - you were just out all morning and hoped to not have to go out again?

t: over... whelmed

b: breath deep breaths.. ok

t: not going to help... i'm in over my head and taking deep breaths or taking shallow breaths... I'm going to get water in my lungs all the same
b: you actually just have your face in a sink - even though it feels like an ocean - I'll rescue you !!

t: face in a sink... funny. but you are right. It is probably true... but if that is the case, my neck also hurts from bending so awkwardly to intentionally keep my face firmly submerged.

Isn't it funny how sometimes we miss the difference between an ocean and a sink full of water.

When you're face down, you can't see it... but it doesn't make it not true.

It is a sink.

and life is beautiful even inside these two weeks.

and I know that.

but I'm still emotional.