So, I'm in a bit of a grump this morning and I'm not certain why, other than all the cross-cultural blues we learned so much about at Missionary Training Institute.
The kids just aren't "getting it" about living here... I don't have enough time to do the things I want to do as far as ministry and caring for my own soul... I don't' really have any friends here yet, not any that I can share my every day heart with... just frustration and fussing mostly... but I can't seem to shake it today.
This morning I am surfing blogs instead of starting school with the kids like I should be doing. I'm justifying it by saying that I just don't get enough time to check in with my friends back home. I hardly ever spend the bandwidth time to read blogs. (we pay by the Internet we use, not the time necessarily, but the amount of information that goes across these lines so I have to be sparing in what I choose to bring up.)
I start with my mom and dad's blog - over in Italy. I read about Mother's day and the garlic festival and my feelings of homesickness (family-sickness) well up deeper inside .. Feeling alone in all of this. I mean, I have Billy, but he is adjusting beautifully. The kids and I struggle, and I take on their struggles because I am the mom, and I feel a bit guilty for not knowing how to walk them seamlessly through this period of adjusting . Moms just live with perpetual guilt over something, don't they? I pop over to Mady's blog next and find a post I had no idea she wrote...
I'm going to copy it here because it made my day better - maybe she is adapting here a little more than she lets me believe ... at least she is thinking about it, which is more than she lets be believe for sure- and I think she shows great information and 13 year old insight.

Just to clear things up
OK so some of you might have the wrong impression of Jo-Burg.

i have found that before i moved here i thought of it as either Black people with no food,water,job or house...OR i thought New York City big places HUGE malls all the cool new cars where rich people live...or i just didn't think of it at all.
but i learned that i was some what right with all of these things...here is a true/false list:

True: some people don't have good food or clean water or jobs or a house
False:the people here aren't helpless though some ARE in need others might work to help that person (or people) out.

the people of Zandspruit think of Emthonjeni (em-tone-jan-ee) as THEIR community center it isn't just a place that the white people set up to try and help them, the people run it support it play in it it is the place that children go to and ply after school, they know that their safe, they know that their loved.

True: Jo-Burg IS like New York City Malls nice Coffee shops clothing stores KFC and McDonald's
False: Not only rich people live their it isn't nearly as flashy as NYC

Jo-Burg is more like Grand Rapids it has a mixed feeling to it. sometimes it will be flashy sometimes not and sometimes total poverty. also there are bad things that happen here everyday someone will get their car stolen or held up at gun point or robbed it happens so often here that you won't see it on the news. BUT there are some "safe"places.

True: sometimes i DON'T think about living in SA for me it is normal now
False: you do think of SA because of the accents or language

i will feel sometimes as if i were born here sometimes i feel like my MI life was just a very long dream, but then i will get an e-mail from one of you or talk to someone on the phone and realization will slap me on the face saying "i AM in SA far from my birthplace,Friends and family..." it is sad to think that.

I LOVE getting e-mails so please e-mail me if you have my address . if you don't than leave a comment.

love to you all
Mady